However, many “definitions” available in the public domain are unhelpful when we teach or coach our clients.  The terms “negotiation or negotiating” are overused, misunderstood or misinterpreted in the media, and most people rarely understand negotiating.

When I start our negotiating training seminars or negotiation workshops, I often ask participants how they define negotiating.  After a few minutes of me looking at blank stares in the audience – or receiving inaccurate responses, most people need help defining the term – it’s critical to describe what negotiating is – before we teach people our negotiating methodology, strategies, and tactics.

Our Definition of Negotiation/Negotiating:

We define commercial negotiations as the disciplined process to determine what is of value to the other side without giving away things that are of no value/importance to them that cost you – or your company money.

In a personal negotiation, we define negotiating as the means of moving an involved party to some degree in a desired direction.  Negotiating is defined as the essence of progress in a personal or social situation.

The Commercial Arena: Defining Negotiation

In the commercial/business world, negotiation is often seen as a structured process of reaching agreements, typically centred around tangible assets, services, or contractual terms.  It can be a high-stakes dance where parties strive to maximize their gains while minimizing concessions.

Commercial negotiations can occur between businesses, individuals and businesses, or within organizations.

Critical Elements of Commercial Negotiation:

1. Objective-driven: In commercial negotiations, there are clear objectives – profit, market share, cost reduction, etc.  Success is often measured in quantifiable terms, making it imperative to create a well-defined strategy.
2. Legal Framework: Commercial negotiations are guided by contracts and legal frameworks, ensuring that both sides fulfill their obligations and that there are repercussions for breaches.
3. Expertise and Preparation: Due diligence, market analysis, and thorough preparation are vital. The sides involved in a negotiation come to the table with data, facts, and a deep understanding of their counterpart’s needs and constraints.
4. Competitive Edge: Negotiations in business are typically competitive, where each side seeks to gain an advantage over the other.  This competitive spirit drives innovation and economic progress.

The Personal Sphere: A Different Angle on Negotiation

In contrast, personal negotiations are often less structured and revolve around relationships, emotions, and intangible needs.  Whether deciding on a vacation destination with your partner, significant other or spouse – or you’re trying to negotiate with children over chores on a Saturday morning – personal negotiations are integral to daily life.

Key Elements of Personal Negotiation:

1. Relationship-Centric: Personal negotiations are rooted in relationships.  The aim is not just to reach an agreement; however, the goal is to maintain harmony and strengthen bonds.
2. Emotional Quotient: Emotions play a significant role.  Empathy, understanding, and emotional intelligence are vital for navigating personal negotiations successfully.
3. Informal Nature: Unlike commercial negotiations, personal negotiations often lack formal contracts and legal consequences. Trust and verbal agreements are the glue that holds personal negotiations together.
4. Mutual Satisfaction: In personal negotiations, the goal is not just individual gain but mutual satisfaction.  Striking a balance between individual needs and the relationship’s needs is critical.

The Interplay: Where the Lines Blur

While commercial and personal negotiations may seem worlds apart, they’re not entirely distinct.  In reality, the negotiation skills, strategies, tactics, techniques, and principles from one sphere often prove useful in the other.

• Communication: Effective communication is a common denominator.  Active listening, clearly expressing needs, and building rapport are valuable in both arenas.
• Problem-Solving: Negotiation is fundamentally about solving problems and finding common ground.  Whether closing a business deal or resolving a family conflict, the art of reaching for compromise and creative problem-solving is essential.
• Ethics and Integrity: Integrity and ethical behaviour are vital in commercial and personal negotiations.  Trust is fragile, and once broken, it’s challenging to rebuild.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, negotiation is a versatile art that transcends boundaries.  While commercial negotiations are often structured and objective-driven, personal negotiations are imbued with emotions and focused on relationships.  Yet, both spheres share commonalities in communication, problem-solving, and ethics.  Understanding these shared elements can enhance your skills in both domains, making you a more adept and empathetic negotiator.

So, whether you’re closing a multimillion-dollar deal or mediating a household dispute, remember that negotiation is about more than just reaching an agreement – it’s about forging connections and achieving mutual satisfaction.

Take Action and Invest in Our Expert Negotiating Training and Negotiation Coaching Packages, Negotiation Tools, and Online Course to Become a Better Negotiator.

» Negotiating Skills Training: Book a tailored in-house presentation, seminar or learning workshop for your organization.

Speaking Engagements – Industry Associations and Companies: Book a tailored, engaging, and impactful 60-minute to two-hour presentation at an upcoming meeting, conference or convention.

» Negotiating Coaching Packages: If your company is facing a challenging high-value negotiation and you need an expert to help you or your team – or you own a small business – or you’re an individual who needs practical negotiation advice, you can benefit from my investing in one of my three proven, results-producing negotiation coaching packages for individuals, small business owners or corporations.

» Digital Negotiation Learning Products: You can purchase my three E-books containing powerful strategies and tips.  E-books: Forensic Blueprinting Questions For Effectively Selling and Negotiating Price or Fee Increases and Managing the Price-driven Sale, Selling and Negotiating Price or Fee Increases in Any Economic Environment, and Strategies and Tips on How to Effectively Manage the RFP/RFQ/RFI or Bid/Tender Process to Optimize Results and Outcomes.

You can also purchase the Negotiating Personality Type and Corresponding Negotiating Style Self-Assessment Questionnaire and Interpretation Results and my NEW Digital MP3 “Greatest Hits” Verbal Negotiating Phrases, Scripts, Questions, and Questioning Techniques.  These helpful tools are in digital format and can be easily downloaded.

I provide a discounted Master Negotiator Bundle with all my Digital Learning Products.

» Online Sales Negotiation Course: If you’re in sales, sales management or a cross-functional role that supports sales, you can benefit from enrolling in my NEW self-paced Negotiating for Sales Success online course.

» Meet Negotiating Coach® Michael E. Sloopka

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